restless

i was doing well. thriving, growing, accomplishing things.
but now i'm restless.
as my "stay-at-home-doing-what-i-want" funds are dwindling and i'm picking up jobs i find myself uneasy. i'm beginning to get frantic. bills. gas. food.
i haven't felt my heart in a while.  i'm numb.
i'm out of reach while my phone is disconnected, so the isolation is inevitable.
my garden is slow growing, and i can't ignore the comparison.
i don't know what it is that i need, or if i need anything at all.