Wednesday, September 28, 2011

the oldest thing i know

tonight i arrive home to an empty house, as i have been doing lately. i air up the back tire of your bike with surprising ease, as yesterday's attempt at it had ended in frustrated failure. off we go, Finn and I. i aim him downtown. he takes me there flying.
we pass the memorial where everyone is hushed. pass the construction.
dirt, sand, broken gravel = grit in my eyes when the bus passes.
we round the block near IAO Gallery, and head back west. i soar over sidewalks and slow to observe the circular brick patterns in the ground near a sitting area. i feel you there, as i feel you everywhere. i sent you a photo with a caption about how i wished you could be with me to see the evening light fading. but i realize, as my data launches into space, you did. you see everything i see. i take you everywhere i go.
when i looked up from between the buildings, through the trees lining the street, and watched the birds fly up and away as if just for me, you saw them too. the sun setting over the horizon. the deep rumble and overwhelming sense of size as a train passed over me on the bridge. the smell of damp tree bark and watered lawns. you saw, felt, heard. everything i hold inside me is sorted by your soul each night. inventory of our lives.

"at night falling asleep they dream the same dream, where they watch fire move along a rope that binds them together" -Anne Carson

you sent this to me in a text once, saying I reminded you of that quote. our rope stretched taut and thickened by the day when you were in Africa. you were thousands of miles away, we were new. but i feel it as much now as i felt it then. the same as i have felt you my whole life. so according to time we're still "new," but you will always be the newest and oldest thing i know.

(pretty sure you hate this photograph, but i love it)

Monday, September 26, 2011

revival of inspiration

yesterday i did the September photo shoot for The Painted Dolls! the theme was "of the earth." the weather was perfect and i had my lovely assistant for the day/fellow photographer/hair-schoolmate Sam there to rock the reflector and make it all happen. i couldn't be happier with my images. i'm posting just a few!

this shoot has given me a fresh lungful of inspiring air. for so long i did shoots i wasn't that interested in just so i could build up my clientele. boredom soon set it and i found myself unmotivated to pick up my camera at all between assignments. this past year has been one of allowance, especially in this area. i allowed myself time away from "building" my business. no more pushing or bending. instead i decided to let it lie. and beneath the resting place where i left it, i am finding fertile ground.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


i am feeling at a loss with words lately. thoughts even. it began to frustrate me, and was saddeing. but i've been reflecting on all the feeling i've had to do in this past year and have concluded that there are periods of life meant for only that. feeling. being in touch with the parts of life that are occasionally word-less. 
i'll not feel guilty for lacking the words or motivation to write. i'll not get down on myself for letting books go unfinished, or news articles be unread. i'll not be frustrated when the things (whatever you want to call them) inside swirl around my head in a hurry before burying themselves deep in the soil. 
all these seeds of heart and soul and growth will sprout when they mature. and only when they have grown above the earth can they make any impression on their surroundings. patience, always.  

now for some photos... 


(blonde! for now...)