i wanna take an ad out in the stillwater newspress

CLASSIFIEDS
   RENTALS:
        "HELP! clean family in need of non-shitty or shack-like apt/house to rent! have 2 cats that pee IN litter box and use scratch post only! need affordability, level floors, lots of storage, w/d hookups preferable. we'll leave the place cleaner than when we moved in!"

   poor preston has been spending all his free time this past week looking for a new place to live. our rent is up in may, we need more storage and an extra room for my photo & design stuff. we need a place that doesn't mind cats (although its tempting to not tell them about our little devils it would assuredly happen that the landlords would come to fix something and the cats wouldn't do their normal hiding under the bed but would stand starkly in the middle of the living room floor staring blankly at the proprietor. plus, we're too honest for that sort of thing)
   anyway, about poor preston and his search....nobody allows pets because one genius lets their dog destroy the house or their cat piss on the carpet and now we're all punished. most of what we can afford is either an apartment or a tiny house with a dirt yard and sloping floors. and the closer you get to campus the more expensive everything becomes. and not only more expensive but more crappy as well! and less parking..on and on.

as you travel away from campus this is what you get:

$$$ expensive shacks or large houses made into apts $$$

$$ still shacks, some nice ones here & there  $$

$ decent, but still parking on the front lawn $

$$ nicer, newer, you might even have a driveway! $$

$$$ you better have a full time job doing something "important" $$$

   $$$$ buyers only please $$$$

we're sort of caught in the middle there somewhere. married, need more space. out of college, don't care about distance from campus. we're unsettled, in a town that caters to students & permanent residents. we long for another temporary home until its time for our lives to move on. anybody else feeling that odd mid-something stage?

this was open, so i went in. i like the living room! but its out it the middle of nowhere....kinda creepy.