Another One

Another one down. Another month, another year, another savings deposit and another payment to debt. Another step closer to our dreams, and another crucial space in between to remind us that "another" will wait for now.
I love all these steps with you, Rae, and all of our nows. Even the 5am trek with blankets in hand through rain and mud nows. Wet dog and cold, snowy feet nows.
If I'm still working by midnight you know I'll be kissing your soul, and I'll know the same of you.

Farewell to this year of work, love, saving, doing, being and moving. Hello, now.

White Sheets

  It happened Christmas morning as we dressed and pushed our sleepy bodies out of the warm womb of Scampi - our dry Oklahoma dirt was delicately sprinkled with snow!  Christmas white sheets.

  I always loved holiday snows but this one was a bit different as trekking to and from the house through the yard for bathroom use made the prospect a little less than ideal. But it came and we have survived our first snow in the camper.
(Needless to say, I ordered myself a new pair of boots with lots of this sort of trekking in mind for the future.)

Rumi was ecstatic about romping around in the cold.

my sweet snow pup!

(these boots are not warm.)

housemate snow fight

* snug inside*

berries for the birdies

  I've not yet begun to make my summations of the year. I'm trying to remain here, earthed.  We still have so many things to take care of before we embark, so much money to save and plans to make. I find myself either losing patience or floating in outer space, my go-to distractions. Living in the camper hasn't made us go crazy or hate each other, but it has definitely turned up the refining heat. All sorts of things are coming to the top and I'm narrowing.
Minimizing, in soul form. Desire is what you let it be.


Cheers for your holiday!

The Winds Change...Again

As of my last entry I was holding on to sanity. Living on the NW corner of Oklahoma City in suburbia was beginning to take its toll.
Correction - had already taken its toll.
It took me some weeks to realize the depression I had sunken into wasn't just seasonal. I'm still finding my way out...but these are some changes that have helped:

1) Rae quit Sprint!

2) Rae then began picking up shifts again at The Wedge, a local pizza shop, as well as landed a job at Whole Foods! Woo-hoo! Jobs that make for a happier lover.

3) We decided (since the one job close to my dad's where we were living no longer existed) we should move closer to the jobs we had. "Why not live out of the trailer now!?!" So we moved into the backyard of Clementine, an artist community house owned by one of Rae's long time friends, and where my Frankie kitty also happened to be living.

moving across town!

4) We got a dog. Rumi, a 17-month old German Shepherd who was no longer going to be housed/trained by K9 University because she wasn't driven enough. She's a lover. And she belonged with us. 
 

"it's bright out here!"

Rumi

Camper Pup

It has been interesting, but we figured we should go ahead and get all the kinks worked out of living in our Scampi before we hit the road. So here we are!

After moving in we crashed - physically and emotionally. In our recuperation we began realizing how our environment had been so out of synch with our souls. We loved seeing my family and having a warm, comfortable room to sleep in. But you can't ignore the heart needs. Sometimes things just change. And sometimes you have to make them change.

Franken-lover

A dear friend made this quilt for us!

Parked in our new yard

The desk from which I post now

I'm still processing the magnitude of what we are about to do (and are already doing every day) but one very simple, solid point keeps me together - I share this with my person. A heart, mind and body that is intrinsically in tune with my own. I'm beyond words.

Photo Update. Boring Title.

A few months left still until launch for Washington. We're combating low spirits with cooling weather and local brews. I wish I were more wordy today, but I'm not feeling a "hurra!"  Images must suffice. Here is where I am...

 I have influenced Rae to enjoy beer! (finally!)

 It's autumn, at last.

We went on a day trip last week, more photos to come soon...

Scamp curtains are finally finished!!!

 Enjoy your weekends, dear friends.

Valleys Are Natural Too

When telling people about my plans for the near future (the selling all of our belongings, hitching a home to our wheels to live and travel in as we make our way to the Pacific Northwest! Woohoo! spiel) this is how it ususally goes:

Someone: "Washington? DC or state?"

Me: "State"

Someone: "Why Washington?"

Me: "I've just always wanted to live there, so has Rae. So we're going."

Someone: (some form of) "Ohhhh woow, that is SO awesome! How exciting for you!"

It's a little fun to hear someone verbalize their wish to do something you're doing (whether they actually feel that way or not. I'm sure most desire the desire more than the action itself. Which is fine.) I mean, it is a dreamy plan, I must admit!  But days like today I look my Person in the eye and say "this is NOT easy and NOT fun right now."
No one said it would be easy. I hate saying that, I've heard it so many times.

I have recently found myself blogging when I'm feeling on top of my world. Scamp! Curtains! Paying off debt! I annoy myself at my constant optimistic blogging. So today when the lump in my throat finally surfaced as tears I decided I would write. We all want to be on top our mountains, but valleys are natural too, and that is where you'll find me today.

My heart breaks now because we must send my baby Frankie to a foster home until we leave. His royal cat-ness is affecting my step-brother/roomie who has Cystic Fibrosis and has been getting worse. The health of my family is at stake and there's no way I will toy with that. We are taking Frankie tonight to settle into a temporary home with some dear friends who will love him. I'm so lucky for that, my community.


Everything is squeezing so tight on our frames. This room we live out of, the car we share, my two jobs, Rae's 30 hours of overtime each pay period, our two pets living apart from us. Yeah, we're making our dreams happen, but not without help. As independent as we both are we have found ourselves saved by the mercy of others more in the past few months than ever before.

This process is definitely bittersweet. I love how how it feels on those peaks, how far I can see. Now I'm just reminding myself how to be graceful and patient in my valleys.

Layers of Life

Nesting

Came home from my weekend table-waiting to work on Scampi a bit. Cabinet door painting is complete and doors have been re-attached! We chose "Peacock Tail" and "Opulence" (which I like to call Mustard, but Rae likes to call Sunflower). Either way, we love the colors. And soon I'll take a better photo of the cloth we chose for our curtains. We are still reeling about how well it matches, we couldn't have chosen the colors any better! I started some measuring, cutting and sewing on them last night and I'm excited to come home and do more. Dad calls me "Suzy Homemaker" now after walking in the door to see me on the sewing machine.  :)

 

I brought some company outside for my evening nesting. My work was accompanied by a choir of neighbor dogs. Silly things.

Stella

Binky

I can't wait to see this every evening!

September

Ohhh September, what is it about you?! September consistently seems to usher in an air of change. The directions begin to shift and before you  notice you have already begun taking the alternate path. A small taste of what is to come, clearing like the autumn air.
  Rae and I keep on our doing. We bought the paint and decided on plans for the internal cosmetic overhaul of Scampi (or so we call him, our little camper.) I am feeling my maternal instinct take over hold here as I hold Rae out of the way so I can get a better mental image of our new home. Jeep is his, Scamp is mine. After all, and I'm pretty sure I forgot to mention this before, when we looked at the tag upon purchase it was already registered as "S - Stephens."    :)

All the OSU stickers have been removed. No offense to my alma mater, but I don't really care about you at all. My life is more colorful than orange and black.

     In addition to the physical nesting, we adopted a new baby. My heart grew a size, or a few, at this little guys face. Rae has wanted a Yorkshire Terrier since we've been together, so when we found him I folded (and then fell in love.) This little one needed re-homed due to owner health problems and spousal death. He's 5 months old and we named him Woodie Guthrie (to be called Guthrie for short.)
     The owner contacted us a few hours after we told her we couldn't have him till we left for Washington. She had decided he was ours, whenever we were ready. Our anticipation pushed us, so yesterday we picked him up and dosed him with as much love and booster shots as we could before letting him rest at his foster home. He and Frankie will be best buddies and bunk-mates for the Pacific trek.

I am glowing and aching with anticipation, heartache and love. I am ready.