it's that time again...again?

so, i've already mentioned that i'm moving. it seems like i just did this! but here's the fun part - i'm moving this saturday!!!  i didn't really find out my move date for sure until Monday when the apartment office said "yeah, the girl wants your place!" and at the time i was laid up on my couch with whatever sickness it was that made my life feel like a black hole for a bit. so needless to say, nothing is packed. and its wednesday!

-breathe-

i came home from work ready to start my packing rampage only to be greeted by a shade of blue. its true i never really unpacked myself in this apartment. its true this has been sort of a holding place for me while i transition from this to that to the other. but now as i begin to re-pack the little pieces of my heart into boxes and imagine setting them out someplace else i'm realizing - this has been my home for a time. and i will miss it.

i made such gigantic changes here. i had to learn to stand for myself here. i re-learned to sleep alone. i lived and loved here, laughed and wept. i escaped from this place and returned to it for refuge. maybe i didn't ever completely unpack or decorate the walls with my heart, but its been mine anyway. and maybe vacant walls were what i needed for this time in my life. i embrace change, but my heart always feels the stretching.