argoflex

 playing with my 'new' toy today!

the view finder is on the top, this is what you see. 

everything is flipped backwards from reality, my porch actually faces the other direction!

 i can't wait until these little pink rosettes bloom again! my grandmother loved them

 a sign that i should get a dog?!? possibly.

random thursday, 2.17.11

today i came home to plan my garden. i have soooo much space in my yard with great sun exposure, but i think i finally decided on my spot. i'm planning a raised garden because apparently this yard has drainage issues, but hopefully i'll get started on it this weekend! yay for my own yard!! and my own garden (that's not in a pot)!

since i was losing sunlight pretty quickly after i had finally decided on my garden location i just rode dirt bikes around my yard for a while with david and my lovely friend jerre b fine. and ate sushi. and listened to music while playing with an old camera i found in my grandpa's dark room.

the camera is an argoflex that uses 120film (which i just happen to have since i'm addicted to playing with medium format)  i also found a brownie bull's eye (another medium format) and an ansco flash clipper (which takes 620 film - no longer in production)!! one of these days i'll post a list of my film camera collection. be ready.

i put film in this one so we'll see how it turns out!! isn't it amazing looking?!?! i love it!

in other news...
i'm loving living in the okc metro area. i feel like every day is a weekend because i can see my friends & family all the time! and go where i want! and do things i like to do!
a little part of me does miss stillwater, mostly the part of me that likes getting from work to home in 10 minutes.

also i wish my cats would stop puking all over my room. really doesn't help my mood when i get home from that 30-45 minute commute.

have a lovely thursday (for what is left) and an even better weekend!!

abnormal?

i'm pretty sure your ass shouldn't chafe itself. but after my 3 mile run tonight, my crack is definitely chafed. i also acquired 3 new blisters from my five fingers (1 per mile?!)
and i suppose i should add that i'm taking on these lovely afflictions because i agreed to run a 10k road race...in two weeks. haha! yep, i can't remember the last time i ran 6 miles (its been over 3 years i'm almost sure) but what the hell!?!? might as well!

dream

i found this video a few months ago and had forgotten about it until today. as always, perfect timing. this is the song of my heart, i needed to hear this now.

for the first time since 1997 i'm going to have a valentine's day by myself. alone. single. and i'm totally fine with it. i'm looking forward to it actually! i'm going to love myself. i'm going to do what i want to do, and enjoy it knowing that i'm where i need to be. i'm who i need to be, at least for now. this year's valentine's day will be my own.

i'm rekindling childhood loves - tucking myself away in my grandparents house, immersed in the smell of old books, studying 1970s photography periodicals; watching birds in the back yard and the golden sunset rays illuminating the kitchen; pretending i could stay here forever and fade into time with the rest of these antiques. this place is mine now. and i'm my own now.

random thursday, feb 10 2011

productive day! for the first time ever i shoveled snow! i really don't think i've ever done that before. i've never had my own sidewalk to shovel or enough snow to even need to! it sucked and i got a giant splinter in my thumb, but i appreciated the life experience. profound moment, i know.

 then i ran!! *gasp!* i can't actually remember the last time i ran, but its time to start again. and it was just sunny enough to trick myself into thinking it wasn't very cold. so i put on my tights and headed out to the streets.

 {before}

ahh, the glory of masochism! my 2 miles were full of spitting, projectile snot-blowing, ice dodging and the occasional hazardous female driver. {it's commonly known among female runners that female drivers DO NOT care for your safety. we all assume they're just bitter that we're in shape (or at least trying to be) and they're not. maybe we're a threat. whatever the reason, 95% of female drivers would rather run the risk of jail time than veer a few feet into the other lane to make sure they don't hit you. males, on the other hand, will nearly drive onto the shoulder of the opposite side of the road to make sure they get a full view of a perky runner's ass.}
anyway...running in the cold felt like home again. i tasted blood (capillaries in my lungs bursting b/c its been a while since they've been used this much), my ears throbbed, my knees ached. love!

look! according to david these are bunny tracks

little doggy tracks?! i'm gonna pretend its something more fun, like a fox. 

my shop! actually, more like david's shop. 

i also cooked dinner tonight for davey and i! salmon, red potatoes & rice! yay! yay!

home

i'm moved. everything i own is now in my grandparents' old house. it's the house where my mother grew up; where my brothers and i spent countless summer hours playing until the sun set, disappearing into our imaginations. it's been my favorite place on earth for as long as i can remember. you can't take your worries to grandma's house, so they sat outside on the front porch until we were ready to leave.
it still smells the same. the creaks and moans of the house are the same. but now its my home. at least for a while.

it feels so good to be here, not having to drive back to stillwater after my weekend. i feel home.

 photo typical of my family. david on a bike, jesse snowboarding - all in my backyard.

 my new bedroom...and my mom planning where to put things

 patriotic makeshift curtain

cowboy hat i found in the room

 my bed is ready! and frankie is ready for it.

 i love finding things like this in the house...who needs a thrift store!?!?!

 my new chair! (i did find this at a thrift store - $12, baby!!!!!)  {love it}

 it's the perfect chair for thinking about life.

 and being a dork.

grasshoppers & mustard pretzels. yumm!

in other news...

i just found out today that the branch of the bank i just moved to (that i have been at for two days now) is closing in six weeks! all i can say is - perfect timing!!! no, seriously...if i knew a couple weeks ago that the branch was closing i would probably not have moved. at least not this easily. but i needed to move. and now i have the opportunity to find a new job, something i love (or at least love more than what i was doing). i can do anything i want! i love how my life takes major turns. i really do, i embrace it.

go places

so, i've been listening to this song over and over. i like it. i'm specifically feeling the lines "a heart will always go one step too far" and "a heart will always stay one day too long." cause isn't that just right? we've all felt that before. a heart that lingers. the overstay.
well that's the part of the song i had been concentrated on. my life is changing, the whole thing. and i'm concentrated on the stretching, pulling, the growing pains. and oh, the pains. but when i watched this video it was a good reminder that there's so much to see. there's so much to be. (me!) there's so much beyond this. and some day soon i'll be myself again. a better me.
and the better me will go places.

snowed in packing nonsense

 i mean really, what's a better start than some grey w/milk & sugar?

 emptying

 allie helping pack

 taking photos of things i might want to remember, because i'm trashing the evidence

even the flowers i thought i'd keep forever.

 i liked my hair today

maybe i'm going stir crazy.


hey! its february! that just hit me. february. that's an odd name and its always been an odd month for me. a month of losses, usually. in february i lost my high school track coach, my maternal grandmother, and my college cross country career (was kicked clean off the team) just to name a few. its usually within this month that i (re)realize how quickly time is passing and feel a little frantic. forget the hoping, i'm going to make this february a good one.
i better get to packing again...