It will be amazing when we're on the road, out in new land to explore. But we're still in Oklahoma. And in day-to-day life sometimes it feels our belts are too tight. It's more than the familiar stir crazy, its the uncle who taught him everything he knows about making people crack.
I escape into the clouds of nothing above me, my "unconscious" bailing out when stressed. I fall asleep at the life wheel. I am an expert at focusing on "now" and doing what I need to get through a work day or weekend or a thousand plans and things to do. But I'm not so expert-y on planning ahead. Or being present when I'm off work, which we all know is the most important place to be present. Or giving myself enough time for myself. I am living in a travel trailer with my partner and saving money for the life change we're about to make and I'VE BEEN FUCKING SLEEPING THROUGH IT!
I am now awake. For today, for every day. I must pay attention, keep my hands on the wheel and eyes on the road. Drive. Even if it's just around the block. DO SOMETHING!
{ If I am a passenger in my life I am only baggage, to everyone and to myself. }
Yesterday I cried hard. I burned some clothes in the fire pit outside and threw some habits in with it. This may be a struggle for a while, but new habits are made after, what, 21 repetitions?! Something like that.
Today I made sure to move. I took my body and my Rumi for a run. I can't remember the last time I really ran. It hurt.
By minute 3 my chest hurt.
Minute 5: my right runners knee began to ache.
Minute 7: knee pain replaced by shin/calf tightness.
Minute 10-14: the infamous gut ache to reiterate "You're outta shape there, buddy!"
Laziness is so, so easy. And feels good for a while. Until it doesn't.
Hello, soil of the Earth. It's nice to feel you again.
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| (apparently Rae now owns the only exercise shorts in our belongings, so I borrowed them) |
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| Latest thrift purchase $0.42 for an adorable painting by a talented person I do not know. I love it! |
