Tall Plums: Waking Up.

I live in a 13x7-foot space, with my person. Only duffel bags to hold our clothes, cabinets for the things we'll use on the road, and a rug for our German shepherd. Our camper is cute. It's warm at night and fun to hang out in when the setting sun warms our West windows.
It will be amazing when we're on the road, out in new land to explore. But we're still in Oklahoma. And in day-to-day life sometimes it feels our belts are too tight. It's more than the familiar stir crazy, its the uncle who taught him everything he knows about making people crack.

I escape into the clouds of nothing above me, my "unconscious" bailing out when stressed. I fall asleep at the life wheel. I am an expert at focusing on "now" and doing what I need to get through a work day or weekend or a thousand plans and things to do. But I'm not so expert-y on planning ahead. Or being present when I'm off work, which we all know is the most important place to be present. Or giving myself enough time for myself. I am living in a travel trailer with my partner and saving money for the life change we're about to make and I'VE BEEN FUCKING SLEEPING THROUGH IT!

I am now awake. For today, for every day. I must pay attention, keep my hands on the wheel and eyes on the road. Drive. Even if it's just around the block. DO SOMETHING!

{ If I am a passenger in my life I am only baggage, to everyone and to myself. }

Yesterday I cried hard. I burned some clothes in the fire pit outside and threw some habits in with it. This may be a struggle for a while, but new habits are made after, what, 21 repetitions?! Something like that.

Today I made sure to move. I took my body and my Rumi for a run. I can't remember the last time I really ran. It hurt.
By minute 3 my chest hurt.
Minute 5: my right runners knee began to ache.
Minute 7: knee pain replaced by shin/calf tightness.
Minute 10-14: the infamous gut ache to reiterate "You're outta shape there, buddy!"

Laziness is so, so easy. And feels good for a while. Until it doesn't.
Hello, soil of the Earth. It's nice to feel you again.